Self. Love.

Relax. This isn’t your typical piece on how important self-care is. It’s just a list of self care practices that you can implement in your lifestyle.

1)      When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself how awesome you are. Be thankful for the ability to see another day and then tell yourself again to get up and go get it! (If the Lord so wakes you, do not insult him by returning to a slumber state. An idle mind is a conquerable mind.)


2)      When you see your reflection in the mirror upon waking up, greet the person looking back at you with a “Hey Handsome!” or a “Good Morning Beautiful!” Most of us tend to scoff at the unruly eyebrows, ‘Dwight’ around the lips and/or sleep in the eyes. Embrace those things, be the first to acknowledge your true self.


3)      Rub on the areas of your body you don’t like or feel can be enhanced or changed in some way. As you rub those areas tell yourself how much you appreciate them being there. Example: Rub on the butt that you believe is too small in comparison to the botched built booties! Love that booty and tell that booty that it’s perfect for your figure.


4)      Instead of paying someone else, break out your old foot bath or sit on the edge of your tub and soak your feet. Go to work (on Myra’s toes) on them with your pumice stone and dead skin scraper. Add bubbles for your piglets to play in! Massage them. I know you’re wondering about the hot towel wrap. Pro-Top: Run the hot water until it’s steaming, soak hand towels in the dangerously hot water and wring them out wearing gloves (kitchen/cleaning), it’s just like you’re at the salon. Side Note: this applies to men as well, crusty feet do not make you more manly.


5)      Spend some time alone. See what thoughts arise without the influence of social media, the television or any of your friends. Alone time could be meditation, reading a book, curling up with a furry animal and talking to it like it’s human, deep prayer etc. (naps don’t count) Pro-Tip: Take yourself to dinner and then to the movies (Date Yo’ Self!). Don’t be all in your head like Joan Clayton either.

Practice some self-love today

Black Woman for God-

The melaninated depiction of myself, bowing before God. Vulnerable, ready to be used for his purpose. Eager to give to the world and shamelessly doing so as she asks for guidance.
Her bareness shows she is unashamed and proud to share his glory. She has surrendered every inch of her being to Christ, like a newborn baby fresh out of the womb. She speaks to her father.
He listens.
Her wild hair is a collection of the needs of her brothers and sisters. It is a representation of the African roots from which she descended. Alas!
It is a metaphor for how powerful she is. Black woman. Untamed, uncontrollable and indescribable.
On hands and knees planted in faith, she sees with no eyes, hears with no ears. For she is the replication of God’s grace.
-Star Candelaria 2.9.17
Artist/Artwork: Calisma (

The League: How Clever Women Play

The League of Female Owners

Come one! Come all! Ladies and Gentlemen.

We, The League, have re-opened the arena.


 It has been said that there is a point in a woman’s life where she goes through a phase of trying to figure out what type of man is for her, but no one ever defined what that phase is or the standard. So, the standard was created. -The League

When the average person thinks of dating, we typically think date to marry. Then there are others who think of dating as a game of baseball in which they play the field.

In the arena, we hear dating game, and we think basketball.


But when members of The League of Female Owners discuss basketball, we are seldom talking about the NBA. So, now we talking teams?

Yes, we are going to talk teams. The League is a team of highly skilled and knowledgable Female Owners. If you wish to join The League of Female Owners then you must first message @starcandee via twitter with, I pledge allegiance to the league. 

Draft Day Luncheon

The next steps are as follows:

Step One  Scout out a few recruits for the Madness. Scroll through your phone, bait and switch via twitter, join bumble/soul swipe/tinder/hinge, you could even go the old school route by going out and meeting people or a simple “Hey big head” sent via text. Once you have recruited some players proceed to step two.1

Bait and Switch

Step two  Get to know your team, find out what gets them going, what hinders them, become one with each player knowing that it is necessary to be besties because of course they are in the league competing with not only their teammates but other teams created by The League. Know them well enough to know when to move them and which recruits will make the cut. This is the trickiest step because you don’t know which way this phase is going to go, should you run into any issues please follow the guidelines outlined in 2.1 through 2.5.

Guideline 2.1: Should you end up getting to know a player that just isn’t cutting it, cut him off. Do not try to trade him either, we don’t want him in any part of The League. Cut him off. Should he get picked up by another team elsewhere, so be it. But no trading.

Guideline 2.2: Should you end up with the player who always wants to be on the field but has no experience. Bench him immediately. You make sure he is the one carrying the water for the other players to drink, he is heating up the bench for when the others get tired and/or he is simply sitting on the bench and never talking to the coach or the owner.

Guideline 2.3: If you have a player who is always bragging but doesn’t actually produce or put any points on the board, he is automatically second string. He may only leave the bench if another player gets tired.

 Men's Faces

                Guideline 2.4: If you should become annoyed or tired with any of the recruits be sure to put them in the stands. If you bench them there is a chance that you may get pissed off at another player and become petty enough to induce competition by pulling that annoying bench player onto the court; don’t be tempted, simply move him to the stands.Guidelines Broken

Guideline 2.5: Should you get to know each one of them and find that none of them should be playing on your team. Send them to the sidelines, and whether you want them court side or nosebleeds is totally up to you. Figure out a different recruitment strategy.

Step Three  Now that you know your recruits it is time for you to place them into their positions. No need to actually study basketball ladies, I’ve got you covered- Please use the reference sheet2 provided below:

*Point Guard = Chris Paul/Russell Westbrook

*Shooting Guard = Kobe Bryant/Dwayne Wade

*Small Forward = LeBron James/Paul Pierce

*Power Forward = Blake Griffin/Kevin Love

*Center = Dwight Howard/DeMarcus Cousins

Player's know

Guideline 3.1: Choosing your Point Guard. This player will be the one whose only goal is to keep you happy no matter what it takes. This player will laugh at your corny jokes, play victim but also hit you hard with the comebacks keeping a smile on your face and possibly waking you up with good morning texts every day.

Guideline 3.2: Choosing your Shooting Guard. This is the position that must be studied hard; and evaluated on a consistent basis because this is typically your most valuable player and is also the one who is calling the shots. Usually the one putting up the most points and typically offensive in their prowess. This player will also be looking to score as many points as possible, but will make you feel as though he is controlling the game (even though we all know who owns the team).

Guideline 3.3: Choosing your Small Forward is intense because this player is often moving too quickly for you to keep up. Which is why we advised you to learn all players prior to. He is typically the one that is down for anything, when you move, he moves, when you call, he comes and when you want to see him, that is where you will be at any given time.

Guideline 3.4: Choosing your Power Forward is going to be the easiest thing to do. You won’t even have to think twice about this player. He is dependable. You can call on him at 5:00am two cities away and he will come get you. Hell, you could be conducting private lessons at another players’ personal court and he would come get you from there. His rebounding skills are A-1. This is the player who is committed to the team, period.


Guideline 3.5: Choosing your Center. This is also one of the easier tasks because choosing this position is solely based upon the shallowest of all things, looks. This player is the one the people refer to as Big Fella. You will recognize him when you’re recruiting because you won’t be able to stop discussing with other owners how strong he is, how tall he is and how flexible he is. You can bet on him.

Step Four  Once you have established your team, you have become official in The League. You can link up with your girlfriends or other owners and discuss thoughts on players, look up player histories, and you may even write in (@millennial_star) for a second evaluation of your team. Most owners compare their players to others in The League to see how they match up on a local, state, national and international level.


Some women might have more than five players, which is okay because you may need some bench players. Please read the following guidelines:

Guideline 4.1: In the event that you have more than five quality recruits that you want to keep as players. Bench them. Simply keep them motivated enough for them to keep trying while also making sure that they are aware that they are bench players.3

Second String

Guideline 4.2: Trading is valuable and will encourage you to change your requirements for recruits. Your views may change while you’re participating in The League and it is natural that you grow in personal development as an owner. The end goal for most owners is to win the championship and get a ring. For other owners, it is about the recognition and avoiding retirement.


Guideline 4.3: There is no such thing as too many bench players. There are going to be times when you have to bench your starters, dismiss players to the stands, ban players from the arena and sometimes you may even have to ban them from The League.

Guideline 4.4: If you find yourself in the middle of the season and you are being pressed to conduct recruitment, be open. You never know what type of other talent is out there. Besides, not one player on your team has gotten you that championship ring yet.


Guideline 4.5: Be patient with your players, assist them in developing their talents as often as you see fit and are able. Keep track of points and thoughts, process these with other owners. There is a high possibility that one of them will get you that championship ring or that you may make a trade that results in that player winning the championship ring for another owner.

Step Five  Throughout the entire season, make sure that you are having fun. Don’t just participate but be involved, attend other games and kickback with other owners. At the end, when you have won that championship ring, you may end up trading all of your players to one of them. You are in charge of your team, own that. Set your standard.


1The league does not accept men found on Christian Singles, Match, Sugar Daddy Arrangements or Black People Meet

2 The reference sheet was not created or intended for women who actually watch and love basketball/NBA, the players chosen in reference were only researched by position. No current nor former NBA players have anything to do with this article.

3Bench Players are a variety of recruits ranging from long distance pen pals, entertainment but never taken too seriously

4Banning players from The League is to be taken seriously. This discussion is to be had between a minimum of two owners and once a player has been banned they cannot return to the league for two years

*No member, player, owner nor sponsor of the NBA nor the NBA as an entity has any affiliation to this article. Photos are derived from the internet of celebrities who also have no affiliation. Promotional graphics were approved by those for this article. The League, is not real. 

Dear, Miss Melaninaire

In your life you may be groomed as an adult but told that you are still a child…

Like those times you skip school to work so that you can contribute to the household.

Or when you stay home to watch your siblings and manage the home while your parents are working.

Or when you feel punished because you are pushed aggressively to speak up for yourself and watch your mouth.

Forcefully pulled into adulthood and thrown back into childhood whenever, without warning. 

Melaninaire 1

You feel it but never ask, am I an adult or a child?

The quick answer:

You are both– a child by age, social & financial status and mentality. An adult by attitude, action and trained mentality. 

But, by my definition, you’re a Melaninaire!

Melanin 2

When you are tossed back and forth between worlds, it is for the greater purpose of your inheritance.

Before you are inducted into strong-independent-black-woman adulthood, you must first learn how to code-switch. The social stereotype will make you believe this isn’t something to look forward to. However, strong-independent-black-women are the intelligent, willfully ambitious, inspirational prototype for strength and courage.


Vision Board by a Melaninaire

You, the Melaninaire, are a young black woman.

So, throughout your younger years you will be taught centuries of wisdom, taken through the trials of pain and confusion, and witness how important it is to blend in while you conquer. Your inheritance comes with many a lesson to be learned and eventually taught. 

Through it all, you will come out on top.

You will overcome.

You will succeed.

Melaninaire 2

On that day, when you wake up and look in the mirror to see the strong-independent-black-woman, you will see that you are one of, and amongst the strongest beings to ever walk the Earth. You will feel empowered because you will know what it took to get to where you are.

You will smile and laugh, even cackle in the face of adversity.

During those times when you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, you will remember how and when to move. Then you will undoubtedly be in full view of the limitless sky that reflects your inner-self. 

Accept your inheritance with pride. 

Dear, Miss Melaninaire, you are (being) prepared…


❤ ~ ❤

I dedicate this letter to my many, many, many mentees. I love you all dearly and can only pray that the leg of your journey spent with me benefits you forever. 

Miss Alexis 

If there are words in this article that you’ve never seen or do not understand please use a dictionary or google. I know you know how to the internet and that phone lil sis! Subscribe so that you will be one of the first to hear me recite the poetic motivational speech: Melaninaire

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