As we’re chatting, I’m reviewing the doorbell camera footage. Daughter and the E6 had went out and had themselves a good ol laugh about what went down while I was upstairs calming down.
E6 said he didn’t know his DLCPO was in a relationship and she said she didn’t know we were living together amongst other things… I screen recorded the video.
Everyone finally leaves.
The 24y/o E4 FT me crying and apologizing. Restating nothing happened and that she’s sorry I felt disrespected.
Random fact: Screen recording on FT produces no audio.. smh.
BUT,
Bbygrl, it’s the end of a cycle and results are coming soon. Then mapping season will be upon us…. I’m not dumb.
It was that moment I realized I couldn’t be a victim anymore, time to be proactive.
Fast forward:
Once he was sober, his apology and logic seemed legit. So, I forgave him as a good Christian woman would. 🤗
As soon as he left me home alone again I thought to do a search. First stop, his primary personal computer.
This man would sit on this computer like an ADHD child with a tablet. While watching TV, Football, movies etc. But the only way to open it was a fingerprint? 🤔 so he thinks.
The passcode was: 2 0 2 4
Didn’t know what I was looking for but I let my spirit guide me.
The first thing I clicked was a folder titled “TRAINING”
Didn’t bother to open the files bc why tf would I want to see work. I’m looking for dirt!!! 😂
Decided to go to a web browser instead. His FB auto logged in.
Y’all. I almost died at that moment.
This 43 y/o man is actually older. Fraudulent paperwork. 🚩
While I was deployed he had 6 relationships. 🚩 (I wish I had it in me to call the women he broke during those interactions and tell them he was never serious. Hopefully they’re out there healing)
The girl he calls daughter set him up with her mother a month into my deployment. She also put that E4 onto him. 🚩
He was having spicy conversations with an east coast Chief’s wife 🚩
But wait, THERE’S MORE!
He has two FB and guess what was on the other account?
A 24y/o son, begging to build a relationship, whom he says isn’t his bc he has no kids 🚩🚩🚩
Almost every meal he made for me was merely a suggestion from some other female in his messenger. He cooked for me and posted for them. 🥹
I took pics and logged tf out.
Physically and mentally.
Went into full character bc idk, I just didn’t know what to do tbh.
I did not feel like moving again during a double grieving. There was too much going on and I needed it all to just, stop. Why punish myself when I knew I could stack up? 🥴
I played my part… The wounded woman.
Went to work and had a convo with a dude who’d been on a ship. He said, something about TRAINING being a code word for XxX videos/photos.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
*grab a non alcoholic bev or a glass of wine now y’all*
I beat him home bc he had to work late 🙃🤣
Ran straight for the computer….
Type in 2 0 2 4 and open that TRAINING folder…
What I saw touched the depths of me, like pure heartache, rage, confusion, disgust, relief, just EVERY EMOTION. My hands shook for awhile. I’ve never been shook, but I was shooketh!
I just —
He’d downloaded videos and photos of XxX, “she-males” category.
I literally started praying. ]
I closed it.
Cried a little.
Fast forward to another day I’m alone with this computer: I open the files to see the details. Dates originally downloaded, dates last accessed etc.
Most of them before ‘23, others while I was deployed and some while I was home sitting right next to him on that couch watching our shows.
It made me think about the times I’d be so full of energy before drinking/eating something he’d give me and then be knocked tf out. I stopped those thoughts in the moment because the current reality was already overwhelming.
So now I’m in full on prayer mode but probably delusional.
I’m thinking he just doesn’t know God, and doesn’t know it’s safe to be freeeee 🌈 in this world.
First I address the women.
He denies, and pouts about how those women didn’t want him and now that he’s taken blah blah blah. Then he states that he never messaged any of them back, and asked who was feeding me info.
Day by day I’d show him stuff on my FOR YOU. Like videos of LGBTQIA+ men with full facial hair beating their face, because the makeup was flawless. In my mind, I’m showing him how free the world is now and there’s literally no reason to hide.
I start opening the door to discuss how others have come out of the closet and he’s just so homophobic in his responses. 😒 like man, gone. To the point where I would get aggravated because you’re lying AND doing too much.
Either he never catches on or he just thinks I’m the dumbest dummy on planet Earth.
Eventually I gave up trying to get him to open up. We hosted a crab boil on Juneteenth and this crowd was the crowd that should’ve been at the first event. Very mild. Very well put together and I’m so sorry that they met me where I was at that time. I wasn’t nice.
Fast forward to some random weekend day. I was sick and bedridden. Daughter is apparently pulling up to pick something up. He comes upstairs to let me know so that I can have the option of monitoring their interactions.
Downstairs I see her car out the door window and she’s pulling off. Confused, I go right on the doorbell app. Y’all, she had already come into the house on her own and then he shewed back outside.
He claimed he never saw her come in. At this point, idc about none of that…
Side Note: I went to return an extension cord to his best friend. She asks me if we worked things out, because he’d called her upset that I planned to leave. She simply said, don’t get stuck in a place that you don’t want to be.
I made rank and continued to stack my $$. Especially because I had bought a new car. I’d also asked for my bday gift in July (bday is in September, Virgo gang). Two FUTURE x Metro concert tickets for me and my homegirl. I’d stopped contributing, stopped the thoughtful gifting, literally withdrawing day by day.
Then I sold my paid off car.
He questioned me about how he saw it driving somewhere and for no reason at all I lied and said she was borrowing it for the month. Day in and day out I prayed for protection and my sanity.
Unexpected events at work had me coming in early and staying late, late. When my mind started to crack between work and no genuine peace at home. I started my countdown.
Side bar: Idk how people do it. Like irl just normally pretending to be something but up to something totally different. It’s exhausting and high key psychotic.
I toured apartments, and eventually put down the deposit.
My leave had been approved. It was TTG!
Mind y’all this is during Chief season and he had a mentee to tend to. Couldn’t have been more perfect!
September 6th me and my homegirl had a blast at the Future concert. It literally made up for the ENTIRE summer. The very least old fella could do for me…
Since I’d did a little something for his birthday back in July, he had made plans for mine. But my plan was to be gone. Kept up appearances by begging him and his bestie to tell me the big secret.
How could he really believe that I’d stay for real after cheating on me since day 1, lying about his entire existence and continuing even when I opened the door for full/honest comms? 😔🤔
Now I’m on leave.
He left for work on Sep 12, 2024 at 0530, I had errrthang packed by 1100. My brother ‘Urky Turkey’ pulled up with his truck. I deleted all the doorbell cam footage and closed the door on that hell of a chapter.
This man texted me after work and even called, I chatted with him as normal while I was putting my bed frame together. He called again when he got home. Between pouts he asked, so you’re gone? Can I ask why?
All I said was, I don’t trust you.
Unless he had cams in the house, he don’t know I went through his computer. Nor does he know I know he lied about his age or the terms of his divorce. (He really told me his ex wife didn’t want any of his retirement and he divorced her because she didn’t want kids. That she spitefully tied her tubes without his knowledge.)
Now y’all know that is bs. Anyway,
Hopefully, and prayerfully he doesn’t get ahold of another good woman.
Fast Forward to November 2024, the littles that set us up shared updates:
The ‘daughter’ that was up for E6 got masted and bumped to E4, DUI of course.
The 24y/o E4 girl that topped ‘em got mapped to E5 although she’s not as qualified as others. She’s also seeing him.
Updates from me: I’m settled into my cozy little space. Thriving at work, and even fought back against some other things I’d let slide in the past thanks to all that bs.
Blessed, and happy!
Decided to share this simply because this is just one story from my dating journey…
My book, for the gworls, is on the way so please circle back and support 💕love and peace!
AYO!
Stop ignoring 🚩 and I mean that with my whole chest.
Star Candelaria 