Don’t Be Sad: How To Diminish (Anxiety) Depression

Depression Is A Feeling Of Sadness Combined With The Desire To Hibernate

When you are faced with losing a loved one, losing your job, and other stressful situations, it can lead to normal reactions such as loneliness and sadness. However, when it comes to those who are (un)diagnosed with depression those normal reactions are more severe and persistent.

The differences in how depression affects people is based upon sex and age. Depression occurs more often in women than men and manifests as sadness, worthlessness, tiredness and guilt. Women who are depressed are more likely to seek help and discuss their symptoms with trusted persons or individuals they feel are alike them in some way. While men tend to acknowledge their symptoms but decide to ignore them.

Ignoring The Symptoms Is An Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

When the symptoms of depression manifests in women who refuse to deal with their depression, they may turn to:

In addition to depression, women may develop an eating disorder or anxiety.

Depression and anxiety are often grouped together but they are two separate disorders. Each disorder has its own causes, emotional and behavioral symptoms. The symptoms that they share are:

  • Nervousness
  • Irritability
  • Insomnia
  • Poor concentration

Managing Your Depression Well

Much like life, you cannot control when or how depression will affect you. However, you can learn how to deal with and manage it. The most common form of treatment is for you to seek professional help. There are over 106,500 licensed psychologists in the United States that can help you sort through your issues and help you identify healthy coping mechanisms. There are also 28,000 licensed psychiatrists who can help you identify the medical cocktail that may be helpful in treating your disorder.

Alternative Methods To Traditional Treatment

If you are undiagnosed, cannot afford or refuse to seek help from a licensed professional there are alternative methods available. Such as taking over the counter supplements. Instead of taking the prescribed medicine whose side-effect is depression, I have opted for the alternative route.

Should you decide to take the alternative route, you should have your physician monitor the levels of vitamins in your blood. Too much of something is seldom a good thing and your body may react negatively to an excessive amount of either vitamin. Symptoms of high vitamin D levels are:

  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Weakness
  • Frequent trips to the bathroom

Alternative Method: 

Spend 15 minutes each morning under the SAD light which mimics natural outdoor light. The light affects brain chemicals linked to mood and sleep, and may make you feel like the sun is out. When you begin using the light, you must allow the light to enter your eyes indirectly, do not stare into it. There is also a timer on the light, and it is recommended that you do not exceed the amount of time that you need to feel better. 

Take one 50mcg D3 vitamin, one B-100 vitamin and one 500mcg B-12 vitamin daily. B vitamins turn the carbs from your food into glucose for your cells which will provide you with more energy. Vitamin D can be used to boost your mood. 

In addition, spend more time with yourself and those who know you well. It is important to be around happy people and those who are aware of your disorder. If you ever need to discuss your symptoms/feelings/questions about your mental health you can call the national hotline 1-877-726-4727 (SAMHSA) or the local hotline (Ohioans) 513-281-2273.

Other vitamins that are recommended by those using alternative methods include:

  • Omega-3 fatty acids this is for your mood
  • Probiotics
  • Vitamin B-12 and B-6 for mental health
  • SAM- e (S-adenosylmethionine) proven to be exceptionally effective when taken with an anti-depressant
  • Turmeric
  • Vitamin D vitamin D deficiency can feel like depression
  • Vitamin C
  • Amino Acids building blocks for protein and can be transformed into neurotransmitters like GABA
  • Magnesium reduces stress
  • GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid)
  • Calcium in addition to eliminating dairy from your diet
  • Melatonin to help with sleepless nights

Fact: Depression Is A Disability

If you have been applying for jobs lately you may have noticed that depression is grouped on the same page as cerebral palsy, cancer, deafness, epilepsy, blindness, missing limbs and post-traumatic stress disorder. Depression is considered a disability due to its ability to disrupt a person’s daily routine.

You may be eligible to receive social security benefits for your depression if your depressive disorder is so severe that you cannot work. Eligibility is based upon different factors and you must be affected by at least four of the following symptoms.

Some Of The Qualifying Symptoms:

  • A decrease in energy
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Loss of interest in activities that you enjoyed previously
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Paranoia, delusions or hallucinations
  • Severe difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty or inability to function without a highly supportive living arrangement

Thankful For What’s Next

“Okay then Big Ari!” I said as I bopped my head to and fro. My puff bounced as a mass and the beat thumped through my car.

After the first listen I turned the radio off and pulled up the lyrics. As I read them I was taken aback. So we thanking our exes now are we?

Oh Hell nah!

Thank them for what? Learning a lesson? Causing tears to pour from the inner depths our souls? Being the cause of trust issues?

How could you learn from them when they weren’t the teacher?

I am a firm believer that our lives are in the hands of an omnipresent being that has already written a will for what must occur for our growth. It doesn’t matter who is sent to deliver the message but where the message is coming from.

The message didn’t originate from your ex and you do not have to thank them for anything. Whatever you experienced occurred because it was meant to shape you. The same lesson would have come at any given moment from any given person but only by the will of one being. In addition, if you didn’t learn what you were supposed to, that being will send another in a different form.

I’ll be damned if I give thanks to an ex as if he knew his mistreatment would mold me. Hear me out, no ex deserves credit for any of your greatness. TUH!

The lessons you were taught in spite of the aforementioned came from your creator. Say thank you to what you believe in, now what’s next?

Star Candelaria

The essence of feeling and imagination

I was in the first grade when I decided that I wanted to be a lawyer or a writer. My fascination with systems and societal rules was considered weird. I often spoke up for the bullied and played defense attorney when a teacher would attempt to punish one of my peers. I often took notes in my many journals about any classroom occurrence that I deemed unfair.

The day I recognized my own power, it was too late.

My peers were out of control and Mrs. Gravante (gruh-von-tay) lost her voice from yelling. Although I had only spoken up for the wronged, the entire classroom took the freedom as an opportunity to act a fool.

The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly.

Oscar Wilde

I recall crying in the girls room because I felt guilty for the loss of her voice but she assured me that she had surgery on her ‘voice box’. She then advised me to use my own voice for the greater good instead of jumping to everyone’s defense. Not every person or action can be excused.

That was my defining moment. That is who I am. This is who I have grown to become.

My Name Is Star Candelaria And My Background Is All Over The Place. Literally.

I’m from a small-ish township in New Jersey called Willingboro, and I lived at 24 Triangle Lane. I learned who I was and what I wanted to do with my life while attending Twin Hills Elementary. I transferred to Joseph A. McGinley for two years and then to Mildred McGowan for my final year in New Jersey.

In my early years, I lived and attended Pre-K in Philadelphia. My cousin will tell you that I got him in trouble by the red brick wall, often, and he isn’t lying. Love you Taiv! #HeavilyHumbled  You should also know that I firmly believed that spinach made you stronger and I topped it off with ketchup. Because,  #KetchupOnEverything!

In 2003, my mother and I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio.

No matter how many times I’d sung the states and the capitols song, I couldn’t remember where Ohio was on the map. When I woke up in the Uhaul the sight of Ohio made me nauseous. There were no sidewalks, no schools inside of the neighborhoods, no Arabs, no Turkish folks, no Puertorriquenos and no Brown people. Where were all of my brothers and sisters? Was I ever going to find a playmate? How was I supposed to walk to school if there are no sidewalks?

I attended J.F. Burns Elementary and was welcomed by the students and staff. It was like they got a new barbie doll. A student from another state and I was black, I might as well have had five arms and spoke seven languages.

In school I was looking for color everywhere! There was not a single one to connect with. I did find two good friends from two different cliques, Kristin Balzer and Taylor Hosey. As a true individual I am still avoid cliques and group think.

Finding Myself Through Others 

I became friends with everyone in some way. Due to this, I was often the match maker for boy-crazy friends. As diverse as their personalities were, they were all white. It wasn’t until fifth grade, when all of the fourth graders from the three elementary schools merged, that I saw another black student.

It was during this time that I was exposed to racism. 

I was called a nigger by one of the parents after our D.A.R.E. program graduation ceremony. It happened again in the hallway when one of the South Lebanon trailer kids or as my school referred to them, the poor-poor whites, brushed past me with her smelly posse.

I laughed. 

These instances did not go unchecked. Mrs. Gravante would have been proud about my response, and even if she wouldn’t my mother surely was proud.

I knew who I was. A strong, intelligent, witty, comical, flirtatious, bootylicious, mature fifth grader. A black girl (not yet a woman). The total opposite of that parent and that student. A lesson they learned in those moments.

developing awareness

It was rare that I encountered overt racism because I can be intimidating. However, there were plenty of instances where I had to address racist micro-aggressions and covert racism. Thankfully I had a powerful voice and a well trained/educated mind to back it up. Although sometimes I got a little stereotypical…

I subconsciously smacked my best friend before our lacrosse practice when she jokingly stated ‘what’s up my nigga’. (yes we are still best friends)

When I’d act out of character my mom would remind me that I was either going to college or going to get pregnant. So I pushed myself through high school and made it to the University of Toledo. In an introductory law & social thought classroom, I smiled because I made it.

I was finally on my way to becoming a public defense attorney!

Just as quickly as I signed Pre-Law as my concentration, I deleted it from my agenda. I passed the class, but there was no personal thought involved. How was I supposed to make changes if I had to abide by the book? Precedent. Precedent! Precedent? I was saddened that my life long plan of becoming a lawyer was not going to happen.

I cried and then got back to work. 

I kept English as my major and political science as a minor to quench my thirst for comprehending our political system. What better system to study than that of our own Government and its relations with other nations, how it treats its women and people of color?

It was awful, but extremely engaging. I didn’t feel challenged and I was getting lazy. Two years in, I transferred to the University of Cincinnati.

There, I seldom missed a class.

There was always a debate.

I was always the black voice. 

I was also the only female voice in some courses. In addition, there were no black students in ANY of my core English courses. The isolation had me crying often but I never quit. 

I obtained my English degree after five long years (one semester doesn’t count because I was a pothead and another semester I had a meltdown) and minor certificate in Political Science. I had officially beat all odds and became a positive statistic. FREEDOM! J/K there’s barely any freedom in your early to late 20’s but, I was grown-grown. 

Music: GROWN WOMAN by Beyonce


People are inherently good. I believe everyone is born good. Unfortunately we all face challenges and obstacles that develop and shape our attitudes and outlook on the world. To protect my good-natured self, I created an alternative personality.

Writers aren’t people exactly. Or, if they’re any good, they’re a whole lot of people trying so hard to be one person

F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Essence Of Feeling And Imagination

Otherwise known as my good-natured self is used as a tagline. But, it isn’t a tag line exactly.

It is the description of my date and time of birth. As you read my writing you will read into different realms, you will feel like you are a part of the story whether you are the antagonist or the protagonist. You will desire to read more and you will want to attempt at expressing your own emotions and thoughts in a healthier way.

My words may make you cry, they may make you laugh, they may provoke your thoughts and they may reintroduce you to your imagination.

Whatever my words do for you, don’t be too shy to share your feedback with me! I’m Star Candelaria and it is a pleasure to have you here

Connect With Me On Social Media

That’s Black Face, And You’re Weird For Doing It.

Pop culture has re-centralized its focus on black women and this time, it has gone too far.

What the hell is this and why aren’t we charging for it??

Screenshot from IG


White women are literally imitating black women in every way.

From the lips, to the eyes, to hair, to the hips, to the thighs, to the butt, to the breasts, to the style and even our dialect.

Now only if they could imitate how to season food…


These frauds have deleted certain photos from their social media accounts to avoid further criticism, i’m sure, but why do it in the first place? I honestly want to know what made them wake up in the morning offer their skin to the tanning bed, purchase weaves or texturizes, and even go as far as to get injections.

Could it be that black women are the prototype for all women?


I say let’s give them a pass (ya’ll did let Kim K pass). It is said that the best form of flattery is imitation. While this is uber creepy, I can’t blame plain jane and boring betty for craving some of the attention that beautiful melanin enriched women have received. We make waves. Accomplish goals. Raise the bar. Fall and stand up tall:

Black women own about 2.4million of the businesses and are THE ONLY racial OR ethnic group with more business ownerships than male counterparts.


Black women are the most educated group in the United States.

Black women created hairstyling and hair products.

Black women fight (figuratively- with those votes and literally- with these hands)

Black women aren’t afraid to break molds and bust down doors because,

Black women created life (periodT)

So in essence, black women created these frauds. Rather than bash them into oblivion, we should create an account. Every creator knows it costs more to model after the prototype. Let’s add to the amount of black female owned businesses with this wave.


>>>>>>>Calling all frauds!<<<<<<<

For just FOUR* monthly payments of $99.99 YOU CAN PASS AS BLACK!!!

You still can’t say the n word. Ever. All you have to do is pay your fees to your local black owned business. If you are not located near one, simply hop in your car and drive to one. If you are SO far out that you cannot drive to a black owned business you are automatically ineligible for this program.


Prices will double on Black Friday.


*There are five payments in March.

Prices are subject to change. Prices may vary depending on how problematic you are. Prices may vary depending on how problematic you may become. Prices may vary, just because. 



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