The first date I went on alone was to see Cabin in the Woods, a creative telling of the how and why horror films are made with a sprinkle of spirituality. It was 5$ Tuesdays at the AMC theater in the Toledo, Ohio mall and I was nervous.
My first class of the day ended early and my second and last class of the day was cancelled so I decided to take the shuttle off campus.
I watched people out of the window and with no one to talk to, I noticed little things like the bumps in the road and the dilapidated buildings in the surrounding area. I noticed that our campus and this mall were the only things thriving in this city. Upon arrival, I waltzed right by the concession stand to avoid the temptation of spending more than the 5$ I budgeted for this date.
When I walked into the screening room, people watched as I moved into my assigned seat. I wondered if they wondered if I was there alone or not. Nervous, I looked around to make sure no one gave me any creepy, ‘I have a gun to shoot the place up’ vibe. I didn’t see or sense anyone, so I kicked my feet up on the seat in front of me and waited until the lights went down.
Once the previews started playing I felt more anxious.
What else was there to do besides relax or think? I prayed for the previews to move along quickly so that I could take my mind off of all else. The first scene came on and it was uninteresting. The back story for the characters was dull and it just seemed like I was watching an Independent film and not a production. I’m thinking the producers could’ve saved this for Lifetime or any other TV station.
I was wrong.
The movie was amazingly creative, and it kept me guessing the entire time (if you haven’t seen Cabin in the Woods you should, it’s not scary either). Once the movie ended I sat in my seat until the lights came back on just in case they had a little snippet of something at the end. Then I left out to make it to the shuttle.
You could say my first date went well. I thought about taking myself out again because I’m good company and what not. So I made self-dating a regular event. I went to the movies every Tuesday. If there were no movies that sparked my interest, then I took myself out to a restaurant or to a party.
Eight years later, I still date myself on occasion. Not to weird people out or follow a trend but to really feel myself, alone.
Going out alone forces you to feel your own vibes and share that ingenuity with strangers near you. You may attract different energies and people that do not feel compelled to speak to you every day just because they see you so often. I encourage you to fully embrace the good ones.
In addition, we often lose sight of who we are as individuals when we are constantly connected to colleagues, friends or significant others. We try to meet them where they are or bring them up (or down) to where we are, unfortunately we lose a bit of ourselves in the exchange. Yes, it is beneficial to hang out with close friends and allow them to hype you up for for 20 seconds of a song. Likewise, it is beneficial to hang alone and hype yourself up for the full two minutes.
Date yo’self properly and get to know you!
If you aren’t convinced yet, below are a few reasons why you should date yo’self!
- You get to dress up and go out, for no one and with none other than you. There is no waiting on the other person to be ready or being rushed by someone else for you to be ready on time.
- You do not have to be annoyed by the presence of another person talking your ear off and asking you questions about a movie that you have never seen. There won’t be anybody there to judge you for people watching or having to explain your private jokes to.
- You get to spend some time with yourself and acknowledge how your presence makes complete strangers feel. You will get to witness first hand just how many things you did not notice before because you were typically too busy trying to impress someone (or seem unimpressed by someone).
- There is almost a 74%* chance that you will receive something for free! Either from someone admiring your guts to be out alone, or you will discover that you can be a little nicer to people. Somehow you will be admired even more thus being rewarded with free things (this is also known as pretty privilege). We all know how tasty yet expensive those movie theater slushies are.
- Last, but not least you will get to go home and not have to give anyone a kiss goodbye. You won’t have to fight off any sexual urges or sexual advances. Nor will you have to contemplate going out to a party to spend more money. Take ya ass home and reflect!
Love,
Star Candelaria
*percentage is inaccurate. Baseless. Not a fact. Don’t quote me.
Star Candelaria 